This morning, I woke up early, my back was hurting, and so I tried to hook up the TENS unit by myself. I thought I had gotten the electrodes in place and hooked up only to have the machine repeatedly advise me to “check connections”. No matter how high I turned the machine’s frequency, there was no soothing pulses running through my back, because ‘the connections’ between the electrodes and wires had come undone.
I spent the better part of Friday morning in an MRI machine, taking images of my lumbar and cervical spine. This afternoon, I meet with the surgeon who did my fusion to talk about what’s going on with my back post-auto accident. I realize I am scared of what he might say. In spite of PT and exercise I feel as if the trajectory of my recovery from surgery has been severely altered due to being rear-ended on April 4th.
This morning, having coffee outside in the dark, I realized that I too needed to ‘check (my) connections’ with the Spirit. Being in pain and distracted and scared make it difficult to be open to the gentle whisper of the Spirit. I try to stay open and listen, but sometimes, like today, there is just too much ‘noise’ inside. So I just sit, and breathe, and listen to the birds, hoping for the best.