Hard to Breathe

I realized this morning its hard to breathe when you are holding your breath. I have a medical test tomorrow that I’m anxious about and as I sat in the humid darkness this morning, I realized I wasn’t really breathing. Fear makes me breathe shallow, and fast, without a sense of spaciousness.

I then I remembered Wayne Muller’s invitation from the Sabbath Retreat: say the name of God (Yah-weh) long, and slow, like a huge exhale. I did that a couple times and found myself opening toward the awareness of the promises of Psalm 46: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…” This is also the Psalm that reads: ““Be still, and know that I am God!”

Breathing, presence, assurance, and stillness – today’s lesson to remind myself I live by the grace of a loving God. Hopefully I can remember this tomorrow too.

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